Job Loss Can Be a Good Thing
That sounds like crazy talk, but it isn’t. I lost my job in December 2005, just a couple of weeks shy of Christmas. It was one of the best things that had ever happened to me.
Like many other employees, I once lived in fear of losing my job. That was partly because I didn’t have a clue how I would make ends meet if I found myself without a paycheck, but there were deeper-seated fears as well. I thought it would be a tremendous blow to my ego. I thought it would hurt to discover that a company I’d worked very hard for no longer wanted me. I thought it would feel like breaking up.
To be truthful, it did sting a little, when I thought about it later. I had given that newspaper several years of my life and some of my best ideas. The fact that they didn’t appreciate that enough to keep me around stuck in my craw for a while, not to mention that they did it just before Christmas, and mere weeks after the death of my mother.
But that was mainly because I felt disappointment in the company’s level of humanity. They didn’t know how excited I was when I got the news, that I was dealing with my personal loss in a healthy way, or that I don’t participate in the great Christmas spending orgy. For all they knew, I would be devastated because of the timing, and that was ok with them.
It’s easy to feel devalued when it comes to job loss. What my employers didn’t know, however, was that I recognized what a tremendous opportunity for discovering personal freedom came with losing my job. I had let chronic burnout and stagnation drive me to the point where desperation to be out of that situation made me happy to lose my job. But you don’t have to become desperate to stop being dependent on an employer. You don’t have to be desperate in order to make losing your job a viable option.
Here’s how it happened for me. I had worked for an entertainment newspaper for several years when the founder of the company decided to sell it to a franchise. As often happens when a business changes hands, the new owners began planning to bring in new blood and it just so happened that I was the first to go. I had been there a long time. I made more than some of the other writers. I was older.
The new editor called me into his office one afternoon, looking pretty somber. I knew what he wanted before he even had a chance to say anything. My heart began to pound away like a crazy drum - but not with the fear and disappointment I had imagined I would feel. It was pounding with excitement.
“I’m free.”
That’s the one thought that played over and over in my head throughout the conversation, and I hadn’t expected it. I had done everything I could to keep that job - short of working unreasonable hours and kissing massive booty. I didn’t let on about my excitement, but I imagine I didn’t seem too down about the turn of events either, except maybe for saying goodbye to my coworkers, who were not a half bad bunch to work with.
That night, Mark and I celebrated.
After that, I simply took some time off. I caught up on some reading. I took time to think and get over my chronic case of burnout.
The reason losing my job was a positive experience is because I had stayed much too long in a situation that was no longer right for me. I had allowed myself to stagnate, both as a writer and as an employee - and ultimately, as a person. But I was too afraid to do anything about it, too stuck in a rut to escape and take the next step. It wasn’t the first time that circumstance had intervened when I needed to make a change I was too chicken to make.
It was a positive experience, also, because it was a new one. I had never lost a job before, for any reason, and so job loss was the great unknown. We often fear the unknown. I was conditioned to believe that I should please my employers at any cost like a good little employee, and that if I did, everything would be ok. (I learned, of course, that was far from the truth.) I was conditioned to believe that losing my job was a sign of failure, and that there was something seriously wrong with me if that happened. (Also far from the truth.)
Now I know that I can survive job loss, and that knowledge will make me a more relaxed and empowered employee should I choose to have a job in the future. (Notice the word “choose”? Yes, having a job is a choice.) I know that I don’t owe my future employers anything more than a job well done. They rent my time; they don’t own it. They don’t have a right to make me unhealthy or tense, or to make it impossible for me to have a life outside the office.
I know that my job is not my identity. It is something I do a certain number of hours a day. Because of the American insistence that we identify with our jobs, it is very easy for an employee to feel she has lost everything if she loses her job. That simply isn’t so. Because our jobs so often demand that we work an unreasonable number of hours per week, we often have no time to build a social life outside the workplace. When employees don’t have time to be with outside friends, job loss often means a loss of their social lives as well.
That sounds pretty devastating, doesn’t it? No wonder so many people are willing to give up their happiness for a paycheck. They have been told that, if they don’t, they’re doomed or that, at the very least, they are somehow immoral. It is not immoral for you to insist that you have enough time left over in your day to take care of your health through exercise and your well-being through having time to spend with your children, spouse and friends. You deserve a well-balanced life.
Your job should exist to support that life. Your life shouldn’t exist to support your job. You don’t have to exist simply to make someone else successful, while your relationships, health and happiness suffer. You’re worth more than that, no matter what the powers-that-be would have you believe.
As an employee, insisting that you have a life outside of your job, and time to enjoy it, can seem risky. But if you don’t live in fear of losing your job - if losing your job is actually an option - you can live a much happier, more fulfilled life. And being happy is what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Part of the reason I came through my own experience with job loss was the fact that I have a supportive partner, who picked up the slack and who didn’t pressure me into jumping back into the rat race. I was prepared. The best way for you to stop living in fear of losing your job, and make it a viable option if it comes to that, is simply to be prepared.
It isn’t that difficult. All you have to do is develop a plan and be willing to follow through with it. Here are some of the ways you can prepare yourself in case of job loss:
Savings. One of the main reasons job loss is so scary is the fear that you will not be able to pay your bills. Having a few months - or better yet, a few years — of savings set aside to support you and your family is a great way to take off some of the pressure.
Living below your means. The only way to build a viable savings is to spend less than you could spend. Don’t let a Realtor talk you into buying “all the house you can afford.” Purchase a small house, a cheaper car, fewer luxuries. Eat out less. In general, revamp your budget so that you spend less, period. Don’t have a budget? It’s time to write one.
Multiple income streams. Another reason job loss is scary is because most people rely on that one job for their entire livelihood. They do that because everyone else does it, and everyone else does it because they don’t know any better. Didn’t your parents tell you how dangerous it is to put all your eggs in one basket? Of course, they probably meant that you shouldn’t put all your energy into your music career in case it didn’t work out, and that you should have a “real job” as well. Your parents probably didn’t realize it is just as risky to depend on an office job as it is to depend on a creative job for your income. Spend some time developing side income, so that you can put aside savings, or simply to have something to fall back on in case you lose your job.
Your support network. It never hurts to know you can have a little help from your friends if you need a temporary place to stay. Even if you do have other safety nets, it’s good to have people who will back you up in times of crisis. Not that losing your job has to be a time of crisis. Because I had a supportive partner, and because we have always lived below our means, my own job loss was not a crisis but an adventure.
Now, sit back and take a deep breath. Think about what you’ve just read. I’ll bet the thought of losing your job isn’t half as scary as it was before you read this article, and that’s because it’s all about having a plan. If you prepare for the possibility of job loss, instead of thinking of losing your job as the end of the world, it just isn’t that big a deal.
Getting rid of that slave-like dependence on your employer can be a first step toward gaining that personal freedom you’ve always wanted. And that, my friend, is only the beginning.
Related Posts:
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An Introduction to Work-Life Balance
10 Ways To Achieve Better Work-Life Balance
What If You Didn’t Have To Work?